processing time
You're at the grocery store and tell your child to wave goodbye to the cashier. Your child LOVES waving to people and you've seen her wave goodbye independently dozens of times. And yet every time you prompt her to do it, she waits to wave until you're in the parking lot and the cashier is long gone.
So what gives? Maybe she doesn't understand the directions? Is she just being obstinate or stubborn? Is she distracted?
I propose that these situations occur because your child needs more PROCESSING TIME.
So what is processing time, or processing speed?
Infants and toddlers are constantly forging new neuropathways in the brain and they are not yet in the habit of quickly reacting to our verbal requests. It takes them extra time to process what we say and then to send the message to their body parts to react (by saying a word, moving their body, picking something up, pointing something out, etc.).
Infants and toddlers need 5-8 seconds of processing time to react to what we say.
5-8 seconds may not sound like much time to you, but it can feel like an eternity in the space of a conversation. Pretend you are talking to your child and say out loud, "Do you want more banana?" Now count to 8. I encourage you to actually physically count to 8 to feel how long it is.
Did it feel like a long time? We rarely give adults 5-8 seconds to respond in our daily conversations so we are not in the habit of giving our children that kind of time either.
If we were, we would likely find that our children would not only respond, but would successfully accomplish many things we didn't realize they were capable of doing. And when it comes to communication, keep in mind that if you verbally jump in after 3-4 seconds, you are essentially "stealing" your child's conversational turn. If you are talking, how can she talk??
Also, if you prompt your child to respond before that 5-8 second window, it restarts the clock and they now need a NEW 5-8 second window to process what you have said.
So. Try to be patient. Try to be silent. Give your child some space and some time. If you find that after 5-8 seconds, they are still not responding, use that opportunity to help them be successful with what you are asking them to do (for example, physically guide them to comply with your directions). But most of all, trust that your child will be responsive - if you give them the time to do it.
So what gives? Maybe she doesn't understand the directions? Is she just being obstinate or stubborn? Is she distracted?
I propose that these situations occur because your child needs more PROCESSING TIME.
So what is processing time, or processing speed?
- Processing speed involves one or more of the following functions: the amount of time it takes to perceive information (this can be through any of the senses, but usually through the visual and auditory channels), process information and/or formulate or enact a response. Another way to define processing speed is to say that it’s the time required to perform an intellectual task or the amount of work that can be completed within a certain period of time. Even more simply, processing speed could be defined as how long it takes to get stuff done.
Infants and toddlers are constantly forging new neuropathways in the brain and they are not yet in the habit of quickly reacting to our verbal requests. It takes them extra time to process what we say and then to send the message to their body parts to react (by saying a word, moving their body, picking something up, pointing something out, etc.).
Infants and toddlers need 5-8 seconds of processing time to react to what we say.
5-8 seconds may not sound like much time to you, but it can feel like an eternity in the space of a conversation. Pretend you are talking to your child and say out loud, "Do you want more banana?" Now count to 8. I encourage you to actually physically count to 8 to feel how long it is.
Did it feel like a long time? We rarely give adults 5-8 seconds to respond in our daily conversations so we are not in the habit of giving our children that kind of time either.
If we were, we would likely find that our children would not only respond, but would successfully accomplish many things we didn't realize they were capable of doing. And when it comes to communication, keep in mind that if you verbally jump in after 3-4 seconds, you are essentially "stealing" your child's conversational turn. If you are talking, how can she talk??
Also, if you prompt your child to respond before that 5-8 second window, it restarts the clock and they now need a NEW 5-8 second window to process what you have said.
So. Try to be patient. Try to be silent. Give your child some space and some time. If you find that after 5-8 seconds, they are still not responding, use that opportunity to help them be successful with what you are asking them to do (for example, physically guide them to comply with your directions). But most of all, trust that your child will be responsive - if you give them the time to do it.
